I had a dream...

Last week I found out that a cousin had recently suffered a miscarriage like I had almost 7 years ago. She is the only other person in our family that experienced this and although it didn't hit me like I thought it would, I thought about her a lot and felt compelled to at least reach out to her. I didn't want to call only because everyone handles things differently and when our IVF wasn't successful and I miscarried on our first IUI attempt, I did't want to face anyone. So instead, I emailed her to let her know that we were thinking about her and her husband and were there if she needed someone to talk to. Given our own personal experience, I was faced with being on the other side for the first time and I wondered what could I say to make her feel better? Nothing. I finally kind of understand how our family around us feels when they want the best for us, they're rooting for us to have a family of our own, and to make us feel better. I thought maybe hearing from someone who has experienced the same thing would possibly make her feel better. However, the thought crossed my mind that hearing our story might not give her the best example of hope since 7 years later, we still didn't get pregnant. I guess the best possible support is for them to know that we're here if they need us and that we love them.

Well, we're embarking on my most fertile days according to my Ov-watch, so we're making good use of the Pre-Seed I ordered. I woke up this morning after having a dream that we had a daughter. It was a little strange. She didn't quite look like either of us (maybe an indicator that we may adopt in the future?). It was Christmas time and Ryan was decorating our house (only it didn't look like the house we're living in now (maybe an indicator that we'll move yet again...hopefully not.). I kind of felt like Drew Barrymore's character Lucy in 50 First Dates when she wakes up and meets her daughter for the first time. If it's a sneak peek at our life in the near future I'm excited. It gives me hope. I woke up this morning happy and content. I hope it's a dream that becomes reality soon.

Try, Try Again

Well this cycle wasn't our month. I got my hopes up a little when I started cramping at the beginning of this week and spotting one morning on cd 23. Nope. Good 'ole Aunt Flo arrived this morning (cd 26) much to my dismay. Although I'm disappointed, I'm not defeated. We'll try again this month and keep our fingers crossed again.
In the meantime, we're keeping busy painting our house. Every room is painted except the laundry room and the garage. I keep joking around with Ryan about painting the garage a color, but he thinks I'm nuts. Well it is his domain, so I guess white it is. B-o-r-i-n-g... :)