Lost in my Thoughts

Today is the first day I'm home alone since we let our little one go. Dh returned to work after being home with me for 2 days. I was holding up fine all this time since my last breakdown on Sunday afternoon. The sadness really seems to only hit me when I'm alone. The silence provides the perfect medium for my mind to wander and really think about what we had and what is now gone. I look at the bedroom that would have been the baby's room. I remember how excited our families were to hear about us finally getting pregnant again. I think about how excited dh was about finally becoming a dad especially with Father's Day just around the corner. I'm reminded of what my dad said when we told him we lost the baby - try to find the positive in all of this and focus on it. I'm trying so desperately to find the positive in all of this and a part of me does realize that life could be much worse. But right now, at this moment, what could possibly be the positive in all of this? I feel lost in my grief, confused by what's happened, and clinging to hope by a very thin piece of thread.