Down

I haven't posted in awhile. I guess it's because there's nothing worth posting. Last month, I started using the Clearblue Easy Digital monitor after reading how accurate it is. I was hesitant about even investing in yet another ovulation predicting gadget because I had problems with the Ov-watch and using the regular ovulation prediction tests were just so hard to read. Then there's the harsh reality that after 9 years of trying on our own, with numerous iui's combined with clomid, femara, or pergonal, and then a failed ivf how could I expect trying on our own would prove to be successful? Well, what more could I lose by trying it. I think it would've bugged me more if I didn't try it.

The Clearblue Easy Digital monitor is very easy to use and seems to give me similar results to the Ov-watch, so maybe the Ov-watch wasn't as faulty as I previously thought. But between the two, I think the Clearblue easy seems more accurate so far. No luck last cycle. I'm now on cycle two.

Last night, I broke down crying out of frustration and fear. Last week I got hit pretty hard with the flu. It all started Valentine's night with a fever, sore throat, congestion, and body aches. After self-medicating with Tylenol Severe Cold, the next day I was left with just congestion and a cough. Three days later, the fever and body aches came back to partner up with the congestion and cough. I had a pretty determined fever that stayed all the way to Sunday. I was actually starting to get better by Friday, but because of the prescribed medication and not drinking enough water, I had a VERY bad case of constipation. It was a nightmare! It took a couple of days to recover from that alone.

Then if that weren't enough the saga continued. This past Thursday, I noticed pink splotches all over both arms and legs and my joints were a little tight and achy. We tried looking it up on the web to see what it could be. The closest thing was hives. I didn't think it was especially since I've had hives before and this didn't look like it. I tried taking an antihistimine anyway. Usually after 15-20 minutes you would see results. Nope. No change. I went to bed because it made me really sleepy and prayed that it would just go away by morning. No such luck. My joints hurt even more and the splotchiness was still there. Something told me maybe I had measles. I looked it up on-line and it also linked me to something call fifth's disease. Comparing my symptoms with both measles and fifth's disease, it seemed I had fifth's disease. Since I already had the rash like splotchiness it said I was no longer contagious so I went to work. I guess from being on my feet all day, it made my joints swell even more and I was growing more and more in pain. After sharing this with a co-worker, I discovered someone at work was pregnant and there was concern that if it is fifth's disease, she needed to leave. Fifth's disease is dangerous to any fetus in the first or second trimester. The fetus can get the virus and the mother could miscarry. By the end of the day, I just felt like I was defective, guilty because I had inconvenienced this pregnant woman, and like something was really wrong with me. As guilty, frustrated, and in pain as I felt, I was afraid for the pregnant woman because I know how I would feel if I were pregnant and someone had this virus that could end it.

I ended up going to the doctor who didn't think it was Fifth's disease. But I've never been one to take a doctor's word for anything. So I pushed for a blood test to confirm whether or not it is Fifth's disease so I could put everyone's mind at ease. We won't know the results until the early part of next week. So in the meantimen, he put me back on steroids which has crappy side effects but as dh reminded me, if it helps my symptoms, it's worth it. He was right. I woke up this morning feeling 50% better. My splotchiness is lighter and my joints are not in pain as badly as they were last night. Hopefully this continues to get better and I pray that it's just a virus like he said rather than the Fifth's disease. Please pray for me.