As expected...whenever I stress over something, it usually resolves itself or works out. On Friday night and Saturday morning, Ryan and I had a real heart to heart talk about everything. I had hit rock bottom the past week and I finally shared with him how I completely felt - if something didn't change I was going to leave. He was shocked! I'm the type of person that if things are not working and I am not happy, I am not going to stay. I move on. He shared that he never expected it and always took for granted that I would stick around.
We had always been the "ideal couple" and "in love". Well I guess getting caught up in the everyday stresses of life and coupled with our long history of infertility caused us to stop working on our relationship and communicating how we felt. I never really knew how he felt about this whole baby quest - the few ups and many downs. He felt he was being supportive by just going along with the fertility treatments and feeling that if it works it works and if it doesn't he's happy with the way are life is now so he wouldn't stress me out. I felt that he didn't care.
Long story short, we finally came to the conclusion that we have to communicate on a deeper level rather than in passing. We also realized that we haven't really seriously TRIED on our own like we had with the fertility treatments. Having intercourse always felt like a chore once we thought we were unsuccessfully trying. So we decided that we were going to actively try. Now for some reason, we are in sync again and it doesn't feel like a chore at all. It feels like a reconnection. I'm hoping that it continues and we can make it happen on our own.
4 comments:
I am so happy that you 2 were able to talk and share how you really felt. IF is sooo hard on a marriage, for so many reasons. I'm glad that you 2 are coming to an understanding. And yay that you are enjoying s.ex again. IF ruins it. We take months off here and there, with no plans of trying to get pg, and boy that really helps the s.ex life. Good luck!
sounds like a great conversation. I hope you have lots of fun. And, lots of deep conversation!
I'm glad you were able to have that conversation before it was too late. It must have been very difficult. Good luck with getting back on track!
Thank you for your support. IF can really throw a wrench in a relationship if you let it. It's been a rough 9 years, but we're still standing, so I'm thankful for that. Best of luck to all of you as well. :)
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