I'm happy to be on spring break as it proved to be a time to relax (a little), catch up and prepare (for the last quarter of the school year), and time to get things done. This time has also given me a lot of time to think since I'm home alone while dh's at work.
We're still on our quest to start a family. I'm on my third cycle with the Clearblue Easy Digital monitor hoping that each time it will be the last time I'll need to use it. I've also gone back to the TCOYF message boards to lurk and learn. I've been reading about soy isoflavones and decided to try it this cycle. I can't say I've noticed any results yet because it's way too early. The only thing that seems to be different are the pinches in my abdomen (ovulation?) and lower than usual temps in the morning (yesterday was 96.9). I've read about good results, bad results, and no results. I'm hoping that I'll be one of the good results. We'll see.
Early last week, I heard from a former colleague who shared that someone we know has stage 4 lung cancer. I was devastated. Granted we were never close friends, but she was always such a pleasant, genuine, and good person that I respected. To hear the news about her health, just hit me hard because something as tragic as this could happen to anyone. It also reminded me of my own mortality which I was faced with when I was diagnosed just 3 years ago with IgA nephropathy. Things like this I think are God's way of reminding us to be thankful for what we have and the time that we have here on Earth.
I stopped thinking about what I don't have..children with dh and started thinking more about how thankful I am for what I do have...my parents and family, a stable job as a teacher (especially in this unstable economy), a beautiful new home equipped with all that I dreamed of, and of course a life partner who treats me with unconditional love, respect,and support. Although I have been dealt the cards of infertility and kidney disease, it has also encouraged me to take better care of myself, to be healthy. Since I've been lifting weights and running/walking, I have noticed a difference in the way I feel mentally and physically. Maybe this is what I need to do to make sure my body is prepared to grow another life and to maintain the one that I am living with now.
3 comments:
It is a good reminder that as painful and sad as infertility is, we still have a lot to be grateful for. It's an important revelation to have. Hoping Clearblue helps you get your BFP this cycle!
As always Evergreen, thank you for being so supportive and positive!
It's great that you're able to find the joy in the life that you do have, rather then focus on the sadness for the life you want. Either way it works out you will have a good life.
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