The Norm?

I'm wondering if the reddish brown discharge with a little blood on the toilet paper is the norm for me. It's gotten to the point where it doesn't phase me as much with worry as it did last week. So, maybe that's one good thing. No major cramping or bleeding. Just some mild cramping here and there, backaches from lying down so much, increased appetite, tightness in my calves, and breast tenderness from time to time.

Hopeful

I'm still holding on...
I spoke with the RE late Friday afternoon. She didn't give me strict bedrest orders but advised me to continue the progesterone and try to do very little over the weekend. I tried to do just that. Dh waited on me hand and foot which was nice. I had light brown discharge on Saturday morning. Then after being on the couch for all of Saturday I had hoped that would've made the difference. Nope. Dark reddish brown discharge with a little blood on the toilet paper Sunday morning. I tried to rest some more on Sunday but with the last few days of school upon me, I needed to run some errands with Dh's help of course. This morning I had no discharge at all. I woke up feeling great. Is that a good thing or a not so good thing? I'm hoping it's a sign that the rest over the weekend did some good and everything is okay with our little one. I had mild cramping in the morning while at work so I tried to sit for most of the time. I was sleepy tired by the middle of the day and still felt pretty good this afternoon. Since the middle of last week I noticed leg tightness and "shin splint" type discomfort. I wonder if that's a weird symptom of this pregnancy or a side effect of the progesterone.

Very Worried

I went from worried a couple of days ago to very worried today. Yesterday I woke up to gushes of progesterone while I was still in bed. The gushes were light brown but after a bowel movement later that morning, I noticed the discharge had turned into a darker reddish brown. Since I didn't experience any severe cramping, there was no tissue or af type blood, I didn't report it to the RE. By yesterday afternoon, my abdomen was tender to the touch and I had mild cramping which came and went. I kept using the progesterone suppositories as the RE directed and kept in mind what she said about the spotting not going away right away.
This morning I woke up surprised that I hadn't woken up even once to use the bathroom, didn't leak any progesterone while I slept, and felt great. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. As usual, whenever I have a bowel movement in the morning, the colored discharge comes out. It was the same color as yesterday morning, dark reddish brown onlythis time when I wiped, there was some red af blood on the toilet paper. Now I was worried and began thinking I've lost the baby. I took another hpt and it turned up darker than the previous hpt's I had taken over this week. Granted, it could still come up positive with traces of hcg in my system even after miscarrying. While I haven't experienced any more bleeding throughout today or cramps, I'm still very scared. I called the RE's office and spoke with one of the ladies there and told her what I've been experiencing over the past 2 days. She asked if I was put on bed rest and I told her no. I haven't been doing anything strenuous other than going to work as usual. No intercourse. No exercise. No heavy lifting. I am on my feet all day and climbing stairs. She said the RE may put me on strict bed rest. If it will save our little one, I'll do it in a heartbeat! I just pray that everything is still okay with our baby. I can't imagine going through the heartbreak of losing another one.

Worried

I went to the bathroom this morning and the normal gush of excess progesterone came out only this time it was a darker brown and when I wiped there were some smears of red blood. My first thought was that this is it, it's the end. I sat there and prayed. I immediately took another hpt and it thankfully came back positive. However, the fear already set in. I had read on-line that brown discharge and spotting is completely normal in early pregnancy, but for me after our long history of infertility and a miscarriage 9 years ago, I couldn't help but think the worst.
I spoke to the RE yesterday and she said that my beta results hadn't come in yet and to call them tomorrow if I don't hear from their office by 11am. Well, just before 11am I received a message from their scheduling person requesting an appointment for my first u/s. I guess my beta results must've been okay otherwise I couldn't imagine them wanting to schedule an u/s in a few weeks. When I called, she was surprised that no one called to give me the results. I had to leave a message with her to request my results since she said she wasn't supposed to give out any results...alrighty then. The nurse called to report that my beta numbers had more than doubled (hallelujah!). It went from 241 on 18 dpo to 533 on 20 dpo, so they were pleased. I asked her to let the RE know that I had experienced darker brown discharge and some red blood type spotting. When the RE called back she didn't seem worried as long as it wasn't a lot and I wasn't experiencing severe cramping. She reiterated that both spotting and mild cramping is normal early on and that I would need to wait until 7 weeks before seeing anything on an u/s. So I guess I can breathe a sigh of relief and remind myself that if the RE isn't worried, I shouldn't be either.

Exhausted

I can only sum up how I've been feeling the past few days with one word...exhausted. I'm usually okay in the early morning. It's the mid morning to afternoon that I really feel it. I've noticed some brown discharge on the liner but otherwise everything's been quiet. I've read on-line that it's normal to spot early in your pregnancy and that it may be the result of the progesterone suppositories irritating my cervix. The RE didn't seem alarmed by it when I spoke with her yesterday, so I guess I'll try to not to worry either.
I took my third beta test this morning and I haven't heard from the RE's office yet. I'm not sure whether to read that as a good thing (nothing immediate to worry about) or if it's not a good number (so she's putting it off until the end of the day to break the news to us). I took the test at 6am and it's already after 3pm. I know the test was a beta STAT test, so they should've received the results this morning. I'll sit and be patient. I took another hpt a little while ago and it's still positive. I wonder how long I'll be doing these at home. It gives me some sort of comfort.

Thankful

I am thankful today because today I am pregnant. Dh called the RE's office this morning because he was worried about grainy particles that were coming out in my cm...some were red. While he immediately went on-line last night to read about it and discovered it is completely normal to spot or sometimes bleed, it worried him some more when I told him it was the same way this morning. I'm thinking and hoping that it's the progesterone suppositories and maybe implantation that's causing the red grainy particles. The RE didn't seem too worried but did advise me to continue doing the progesteronoe suppositories and to take it easy.
My second beta which wasn't really 48 hours since my first beta was 241. The numbers haven't exactly doubled but then again it wasn't 48 hours and I'm focusing on the fact that it's growing. We'll just keep taking it 2 days at a time.
My third beta is scheduled for tomorrow morning. I'm praying that the numbers at least double this time.

Our Miracle

This weekend has been an unbelievable whirlwind. It only validated my belief that everything happens for a reason.
Last weekend, dh and I decided to go to the home improvement store to buy wood to make a raised garden bed for my herb and vegetable garden. We went to the first store and found what we needed, but dh likes to shop around, so we went to another store. I left him in the lumber department and went to the garden department. While in the garden department, I got a phone call. He got hurt when a piece of lumber fell and hit him on the head. He ended up with a gash on his forehead that required 6stitches. The stitches needed to be removed 5 days later which was the day before we were going to fly out to see the RE for an IVF consulation. Dh had requested to finish work earlier in the day so he could get his stitches removed. Luckily he did because when he got home, there was a message on our answering machine from the RE's office. The RE got into an accident and they needed to reschedule. We were in shock. While we we hoped that the RE was okay, we had already prepaid for our planned trip that would have been for nothing. Dh returned the call to the RE's office and asked if there was anyway to accommodate us since we were making a special trip to see them. They were able to accommodate us and we were scheduled to see the RE's colleague. As unfortunate as it was, had dh not gotten stitches and needed to finish work early, we wouldn't have known until it was too late about the cancelled RE appointment.
So everything was back on schedule. We met with the RE who discussed two options - IVF or doing injectable iui's. We didn't know what to do. She decided to do a baseline ultrasound and I jokingly told her maybe she might find something in there. I was a couple days late which wasn't a big deal. She suggested taking a pregnancy test too which is standard procedure for them. I gave my urine sample and went out to speak with the woman who handles the health insurance. While we were talking, dh said he noticed the doctor looked a little flushed and was pacing back and forth. She listened as the woman and I were talking and then interrupted us to say that we may not need the health insurance coverage for IVF afterall...the pregnancy test was POSITIVE! We were all in a state of shock. I immediately took a blood test just to confirm the pregnancy, she gave me a script for progesterone suppositories, and told me she would call with the results as soon as possible. A few hours later, she called again to congratulate us. The hcg results were 133 (they hope for 50-100) and my progesterone was 12.2 which was a little on the low side. So she advised me to fill the prescription for progesterone. I began taking the progesterone that evening and will continue to take it probably for my first trimester (100mg twice a day).
We just arrived home today and are still in a cloud of disbelief. I took a home pregnancy test this afternoon just to see for myself. Here it is:

I had to do a second beta test this morning before we flew home and we find out the results tomorrow. I pray that the numbers are multiplying and the baby is healthy and strong. It's still very early so we are being cautiously optimistic. We keep telling ourselves to take it a day at a time. It's been 9 years since I was last pregnant at all and this time it was natural. Dear Poppy posted something a while ago that I will keep telling myself..."today is a good day because I'm pregnant." Wise words to focus on.